Garfield: how to cure my puffy eyes?

Q:

I have serious puffy eyes. My friend Odie always laughs at me--even though his hyperactivity disorder is apparently way more severe than my problem. I am tired to have these swelling eye bags. How can I cure them?
 - Garfield

A:

Dear Garfield,

I am sorry to hear that. There are three ways to quick fix puffy eyes.

-Drink several glasses of water. 
Eyes tend to get puffy due to water retention, which is caused by a high concentration of salt in the area around the eyes. If you ate a very salty rat dinner you might notice increased puffiness in the morning. Drinking plenty of water flushes the area and causes the swelling to go down.

-Apply something cold to your eyes. 
Eye puffiness is a buildup of fluids in the tissues around your eyes, and like other types of swelling, it can be reduced with the application of a cool compress of some kind. Chilled cucumber slices are the perfect size and shape for your eyes, and they work well to temporarily reduce puffiness. Lie back and place them over your closed eyelids for 15 minutes, or until they grow warm.

-Apply an astringent substance to your eyes. 
You can buy astringent creams and tonics that help reduce puffiness by tightening the skin around your eyes. Soak two cotton balls in astringent cream or tonic, lie back and close your eyes, and place the cotton balls over your eyes. Let the astringent soak in for about 10 minutes, then remove the cotton balls and rinse your face.

-Get some exercise. This improves circulation, which will help your body move fluid through your body, rather than letting it accumulate. If you have time, go for a run with Odie, do some yoga with Arlene, or simply take a brisk walk.

There are also some long-term strategies to cure your puffy eyes including,

-Get enough sleep

-Elevate your head when you sleep.

-Treat your allergies

-Make healthy changes to your diet

-Drink less alcohol

If all the above don't work, you might consider to..

-Accept yourself. Learn to draw attention to other features, such as the color of your eyes, the curl in your hair, or your attitude towards life.

-Get bleuroplasty surgery. (which I think Jon probably won't pay for you...)

Sincerely,

Dr. Coffeerainy